I’m not sure whether this year is a bad or good year. I’ve had highest ups and lowest downs. I’m still struggling with many things and finding myself as well as my place here. I’m hoping that next year would be a better year.

I think one of the things I’d like to share about 2014 was about having my boys featured in the newspapers You can check out the article here. (Okay, after reading the article I feel a little embarrassed as to how I came up with Kaien’s name. BUT I would like to clarify that Kaien wasn’t named after the BLEACH character after all. It’s actually the combination of Kaito and Ian.)

I came across this post and decided that I would like to share my dreams for 2015

What do you want the overarching theme for your 2015 to be?
Patience. I know it sounds odd, but I feel like I never learnt patience since I was young. Having kids (especially young tantrum-y kids) really tested my patience and I feel like I failed as a mother on this area (along with like a thousand other things).

What do you want to see, discover, explore?
(Oh wow. These questions are harder than I thought. I admit I didn’t read them until copying and pasting the questions onto this post.)
I would like to delve into cooking and baking. I can’t cook for nuts. At most I can whip up porridge for my kids or make pancake from the pre-mix. Sometimes make french toast, scrambled and fried eggs (not fantastic tasting though). Hoping that once I move into my own home (whoots!) I can magically have the dormat skills to cook activated

Who do you want to spend more time with in 2015?
Both my family and friends. I’m adding family here because I feel obliged to (Can’t blame me–I’m with my kids 24/7! :thumbs:) Friends because I feel like even though I’ve made cool friends this year, (online, but they are really awesome!) I feel like after stepping back from some things to spend more time in real life made me neglect them. Old friends as well. I guess it can’t be helped since I have a very sticky baby. But hoping that things would change as he grows older

What skills do you want to learn, improve or master?
I stopped writing a few years ago. I blame it on the lack of time or the lack of inspiration. I would like to start journaling again in order to print the memories that I can’t hold onto with my memory (as my mom says, the faintest ink is better than the strongest memory). And that means blogging more often as well

Which personal quality do you want to develop or strengthen?
Wow. I’m really stumped on this one. Maybe I’ll revisit this later

What do you want your everyday life to be like?
Filled with activities. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to handle it but I would love to be able to bring the kids out to play, go swimming, learn to ride a bike or skate or do some sports.

Which habits do you want to change, cultivate or get rid of?
LOL. This is going to be REALLY embarrassing–I need to stop biting my nails once and for all! I tried many times and failed. Hoping this final attempt would be successful!

What do you want to achieve career-wise?
Since my job is being a mom (that sounds a little sad because being a mom shouldn’t be a job), I want to be able to bring up my kids the way that I’ve always wanted to. My current living situation makes it extremely difficult to discipline them without causing friction in the household so I’m holding out my big plans for the kids.

How do you want to remember the year 2015 when you look back on it 10/20/50 years from now?
I want to remember it as a year of new beginnings. Reuel will be starting school, Zayden will be in his final year of kindergarten before he starts primary school (WHY SO FAST?! :o), and we will be moving into our new home (WHEEEEEEEEE~)

What is your number one goal for 2015?
To be able to handle finances BETTER. Guan and I both suck at this but I have to step up and handle these dreadful stuff because we are going to have a LOT of bills to pay on a monthly basis. Ganbatte!

Last week, I decided it was time for Reuel to finally have his first hair cut. It was sort of a big deal because I have never sent my boys to the hair salon until it was time for nursery. I usually trim their fringes to keep their hair from poking into their eyes. And, I tend to have many older folks “nagging” at me about letting Reuel keep his hair, that he looks like a girl or he’s suffering due to the hot and humid weather

He is such a sweet lad. Whenever strangers mistake him for a girl and calls him “mei mei”, he would tell them in that innocently surprised voice: “But I’m a boy!” It really melts my heart

Before shots:

A front shot

A front shot

Look at Reuel's waves

Look at Reuel’s waves

Reuel was eager and volunteered to have his turn first. When Zayden was his age, I had to “bribe” him with candy and a short play time at the playground after his hair cut I’m pretty glad I don’t need to struggle for future trips to the hair salon!

Fresh faces

Fresh faces

Lookalikes from the back

Lookalikes from the back

The problem with them having the same hairstyle is that we tend to call Reuel “Zayden” instead. It’s really uncanny how alike they are (from the back). I feel that Reuel looks better with long hair! I will most certainly miss his old look.

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

On Saturday, we had free entry to the zoo thanks to Guan’s cousin-in-law. Personally, animal captivity makes me really sad (now that I’m older) but it brings so much excitement to the kids for them to have a chance to see animals closer without having to go all out into the wild. I didn’t take much photos because we had four kids under 6 years of age–one couldn’t walk, one was learning how to walk and two who only knew how to run

But here’s picture of Kaien

Just woke up from his nap

Just woke up from his nap

Zayden

Zayden: “Mommy, look! The door is camouflaged.”

Yesterday, I decided to bring the boys to one of those “live” shows of Chuggington at City Square Mall. I’ve never brought them to one before Only because there was once Guan and I brought Zayden a couple of years ago to the same event at the same mall only to find out that the show had ended less than an hour ago

As I knew my kids, my limits and that I would be outnumbered, I asked my Mom to be the much-needed extra pair of hands. She ended up roping my brother along as well so that made the ratio of kids to adults pretty even

I was a little surprised that they weren’t as excited or moving as actively/vigorously during the show. Zayden looked like he was outgrowing the series. So when it ended (with “snow” falling), I pulled both boys aside and asked if they enjoyed it.

“Yes,” they said, in their flat voices.

“I don’t like the snow,” Reuel said, trying to get the foam off his hair. I tried to explain it wasn’t real snow and that, really, it was just soap foam but he wasn’t really keen on listening.

“Zayden, why didn’t you dance along to the songs?” I asked him.

“I don’t want to be tired,” was his reply.

I guess they were tired since it was around their usual nap time. Not to mention Zayden had an on-off nose bleed from 5-7 earlier in the morning

The obligatory photo with the trains:

Reuel and Zayden :)

Reuel and Zayden

Oh! It’s almost 4 a.m. now. Happy Birthday Mom!

Seating plan for The Hobbit trilogy in 3D

Seating plan for The Hobbit trilogy in 3D

I sent the above to my BFF Rey saying, “What’s left of The Hobbit trilogy, and here I am, thinking we get the wheelchair berth and bring our own chairs

I mentioned it to Guan and he was like, “Just go with wheelchairs.”

One of those weird quirks I have would be thinking about something that leads to another and on to another and another and when I try to explain why I was spacing out for a minute, it would take a long time to explain that train of thought.

So, anyway, I had forgotten to buy a loaf of bread earlier while getting dinner and went to the mart to grab one. While walking on the way back home (it was about 8.30 p.m.), I saw several old folks sitting on the benches downstairs, and I thought about how I miss sitting down at void decks, talking and chilling with Perr into the wee hours of the night, maybe drinking, maybe listening to house or trance. And I thought that the next chance would probably when I’m old like these folks, with not much parental responsibilities, but I wouldn’t be sitting till the wee hours and I wouldn’t be with Perr (unless she’s miraculously my neighbour. Ha!)

And while I was thinking about Perr, I thought about this video that I shared on her Facebook. It’s so hilarious that I was chuckling to myself every now and then, gathering weird stares from people who passed me.

Okay, after writing that down it didn’t seem long any more

This domain has been around cyber space for more than a decade And, yes, it has been pretty neglected as well.

I guess it came to a point where I am not really sure what to blog about, since I have not been writing, blogging or journaling for some years now. And because of the long periods between, I do not feel as comfortable blogging like how I used to when I first started or when I continued on up to the last of my regular posts.

Holding on to this site is like holding on to my memory box. I have lost my old posts from my older websites before I got this domain. Being the sentimental person that I am, I cannot help but to just keep renewing this yearly.

I guess we shall see how it goes