A Rush of A Random Thought

It is rare that I am updating my blog rather regularly these days. But since my class was so-called cancelled, I still have about 8974597834 hours (actually, just three) to kill.

Not many frequent here any more. I don’t blame them since I did not make the time nor effort to actually maintain the bond. So, if you read past archives, you will notice that I don’t really blog really deep and personal stuff. Usually it’s about my random days or something I want to share or pictures I want to post.

I guess having 8974597834 hours to kill just puts your gears in your mind to work. So, beware, it may be a long, random, (perhaps) boring and wordy post.

I guess it was something that has been bugging me slowly over the past half year or so. Or maybe for the past year or two. (Darn, I’m really bad with timings ever since I started working late.) I know I’m drifting away. Not just from God or my family, but also from my dearest and closest friends that treasure.

I blame the lack of time. But maybe that’s just a bad excuse. I know I don’t really share. I’m not much of a person who shares a lot of things. I share a bit of everything to every other person. I talk with my 7ners. We laugh, we chat, but they’re just things to keep everyone posted: schooling and working; single; having a complicated past relationship; not on very good terms with family; yes, very busy…

I remember a few years ago when we (7ners) felt that PK was drawing away from us. (No offense, I’m not bringing up bad, old memories. Just pulling an example.) We were all rather upset and frustrated. So we found a day, gathered everyone and sat down to talk to her. We wanted to know what was going on and what was wrong. The ending was good. We were all glued back together again.

Now I feel like I’m her. I think I know it. I’m not sure if they do, too. And if they do, I’m ignorant of that. Sometimes I wish I can explain myself. Sometimes I want to apologise. But I am not even sure what is going on, let alone trying to explain something that I don’t even understand yet.

Saying that I am trying would not be truthful. But saying that I did not bother would be a lie as well. I don’t expect anyone to understand. I can only say that I’m still figuring things out.

The reason why I’m actually typing all these because I feel very bad for missing out on CJ’s birthday celebration earlier this month. (Well, and also after reading everyone’s blogs on the fun I was missing out that night.)

Okay, so, end of emo part. On a random note, I hate karma. On the other side of that random note, the gods of time are still playing their stupid jokes on me.

“Good evening.”
“Good night.”

To end off in a happier tone, Happy Birthday Mark and Luke! I always have this problem every year where I want to text you two “Happy Birthday” but have to rack my brains so that I won’t send the exact same message to the both of you. I’m sorry Luke, but as Mark’s your older twin, he will always receive my text first

7 comments

  1. i guess everyone has their own on & off days? I hope it’s nothing serious & you guys would sort it out the way you did with your other friend

  2. Sometimes thinking back on some of the bad stuff helps you grow from your past. I’m sure you will be able to get past it before you know it. It’s probably the stress getting to you
    Best of luck

  3. When you think about all the bad things you’ve been thru, you tend to be more grateful for where you are today. Certain situations you just KNEW you wouldn’t be able to get thru, you can laugh at now like “Damn, what was wrong with me then.” I hope you had a great Thanksgiving.

  4. I also tend not to blog about personal stuff, not too much any way. Having my thoughts and feelings out there for all to see is a little scary to me, so I like to just keep it random and light lol

  5. *hugs* you know you can always talk to us or talk to me..babe when it comes opening up about your feelings, it’s basically up to you. you know that we’re all a phone call away – if you tak to any of us we wld never tell you tt u are bothering us or anything like tt.as your girlfriends and buddies, we’ll drop what we’re doing just to listen to u. and for us to listen you must wanna say something – an email or a call away or a hug away – we’re here sis. *loves* *hugs* and i’m sorry for nagging at u abt missing e bday.

  6. -grins- smile, dear sister. smile. one of those ‘i dunno wat to say’ moments, but for all the time’s u’ve been there for me, i hope i can return the favor.

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